In this episode, Craig Groeschel discusses his new book Lead Like “It” Matters as well as the “leadership paradox” that the book addresses.
Basically, he and his team have found that some teams and leaders have “it” – a special something that helps them grow and perform well – and some don’t. So what is “it”? Well, it’s difficult to describe, but through research, his team found eight special, often seemingly contradictory qualities, that the best leaders who have “it” share. And every team that has “it” is led by a leader who has “it.” These eight “leadership paradox” qualities (starting at 10:40) are:
- Confidence – Humility
- Driven – Healthy
- Focused – Flexible
- Optimistic – Realistic
- Direct – Kind
- Empowering – Controlling
- Urgent – Patient
- Frugal – Abundant
In this episode, he discusses #4 (13:35): leaders who are both optimistic and realistic, quoting Walt Disney:
I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic to know that life is a complex matter.
Walt Disney
He then also discusses #5 (19:45): leaders who are both direct and kind, and it is this section in particular that stood out to me and gave me the quote for the title of this article:
A kind ‘no’ is kinder than a wishy-washy ‘maybe.’
Craig Groeschel
In fact, I’ve often had a problem with giving wishy-washy ‘maybes’ out of some sense of guilt or fear. Either, I feel guilty and pressured to help out in some way – because I know I CAN. Or, I feel fearful that another opportunity from the same person, or in the same manner, will not come along again if I give a direct ‘no.’
Some good advice that I’ve heard before from multiple sources is:
If it’s not a ‘hell yeah!’ then it’s a ‘no.’
Anonymous
In recent years, I’ve tried to apply this principle to my life in more ways, and I’ve tried to be more direct with my ‘no’ – but there are still opportunities and needs that arise that I feel … wishy-washy … about helping out with. And so I often give a wishy-washy ‘yes’ or a wishy-washy ‘maybe.’
I need to work on my ‘no.’
I need to work on being direct, but kind.
Because when I give a direct ‘no’ in response to a request, it also allows the asking party to stop waiting around for me to get over being wishy-washy, and to find someone else who can and will actually do the work joyfully.
So a direct, but kind ‘no’ is beneficial not only for myself, but also for the one who asked.
I need to work on my ‘no.’
Resources
To explore these principles more in depth, here are two resources offered by Craig Groeschel:
These are Affiliate links, so I’ll receive a commission for any qualifying purchases.
